When the storm warnings crackled over the airwaves, we packed up food and blankets and headed for the ridge, carrying every flashlight we could find.
We made it to the shelter as the deluge began. The storm went on for three days. On the fourth day, the rainbow appeared and we ventured out to survey our land.
The pasture was empty. The horses had vanished, swept away and probably lying under a pile of debris downriver.
“Maybe they scrambled out before the floodwaters hit.” I offered.
Jim shook his head, “Just because there’s a rainbow, don’t be getting all optimistic.”
A very bittersweet reminder of how the vagaries of Mother Nature can make life very difficult for some.
ReplyDeleteMine is here: http://www.jeffreyhollar.com/2012/05/golden-quest.html
The gruff pragmatism of the last line is perfect.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm inclined to believe they did scramble out. Nice one, there was a good sense of 'after the flood' about it, with almost tangible relief at survival.
ReplyDeletehttp://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
Is it bad that I laughed at that last line? Liked your story. Tight writing in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteMy attempt: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/fields-of-wildflowers/
Loved, loved, loved the last line. Perfect voice and pitch. You can hear the knowledge of the work ahead weighing on him even though he's happy to have survived. A vivid portrait of hard times punctuated by Nature's beauty. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/
Hey, I think you had the same reaction to the iconic rainbow thing that I did, but you responded differently. Very good, Ms Glamoura, and better than you think.
ReplyDeleteI add my comments to the others. Well done. Loved the last line.
ReplyDeleteThe last line was terrific. Loved it! http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-2/
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story, thanks! http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-head-tripping/
ReplyDeleteI like this. Rainbows don't always mean light at the end of the tunnel. Nicely written. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-sinking-low/
ReplyDeleteStill smiling at the scathing last line - reality bites.
ReplyDeleteI got your comment from Sandra's story. Um, I'm sure there should be a comment box at the very bottom of all the comments on the post. Maybe you're on my home page, so need to click the Friday Fictioneers title there? Sorry, I'm probably being no help. I'm still technologically stupid.
I hope this takes you to the right spot: http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers/
Hello, Mik, I managed to get to the right spot with your link. Thanks. I left my comment there and I feel a whole lot better. Thank you for smiling at mine.
ReplyDeleteYou should have seen the first draft - 500 words about the horrific death of the horses! No one would be smiling!
Keep up the good work,
Laura Lindaura
Hi Linda,
ReplyDeleteThose damned optimists, always chirping their hopeful views. If only the storms would sweep them away. Interesting and different take on the photo.
Mine is over here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Thanks! And I loved your comments on Carlos's site. You both make me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteLindaufa
Jim likes to rain on people's parade. Unless they were trapped behind a fence, I'm confident the horses escaped. Of course, I'm eternally optimistic :) Nice job, Linda.
ReplyDeletethanks for the nice comment on mine. Here's the link for others http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Very dramatic, and nice characterization of both people. Nice!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment on my story (http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-finding-the-gold/).
jim has seen too many storms to have foolish hope. poor guy.
ReplyDeletehttp://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-518-via-madison-woods/
Wow! You and Carlos are BOTH cynical today, LOL! Well written cautionary tale, Linda. But I sure do hope the horses made it out alive, and I think you need to put the rose-colored glasses back on.
ReplyDeleteOh noooo...sad, but true-to-life story. I hope the horses managed to flee in time. They were so distraught, it's fair to say, they could not appreciate the beautiful rainbow. Nice work. Here's mine;
ReplyDeletewww.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
I too hope the horses escaped the flood. A well told story. With just the right touch of pragmatism in the final line.
ReplyDeleteHere mine for anyone who would like to drop by:
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/rainbows-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
Linda ... it took me a while to find your effort this week; rainbows don't seem to spark cute or gooey images, do they? I have a sense that this story is pandimensional, post-apocalyptical, or extra-terrestrial ... or maybe not. I like the ambiguity. I like the killer last line. Yours sort of dashes optimism, mine (http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/05/rainbow-promises.html) makes promises
ReplyDelete