In Memory of a Tree
Paco
told us there would be a tree. I
couldn’t wait to see it. I sneaked
over the ridge, the vision of the tree in my head; tall trunk, sturdy branches,
green leaves blotting out the scorching sun.
This
tree was ugly; gnarled, and twisted, broken bits all over. I turned away in
disgust.
“You’re
disappointed.” I turned to see a
creature as unlike the tree as a butterfly from a caterpillar.
“It’s
ugly! And Paco said it was the last one!”
“Paco was wrong. There are no more trees.
This is what he remembers. It's his tree, not yours.”
I like the contrasts you have here--the two ideas of a tree, the comparison between the tree and the creature. The tree being a memory is intriguing, too.
ReplyDeletejanet
Thanks Janet. I hoped I pulled it off. It started as one of those 500 plus stories, so it was really hard to whittle it down (don't mind the slight pun).
ReplyDeleteDear Linda,
ReplyDeleteIt would be a sorry world without trees. You did a nice job of trimming down your story. Good job.
Shalom
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle,
DeleteBut boy, it was hard.
Shalom to you too
you painted a great and sad story even in just 100 words, a world without trees-- that'd be horrible. i hope this tale remains as fiction ^^
ReplyDeleteThank you,
DeleteI hope so, too
Adore the twang of Sci-fi.
ReplyDeleteYou could go places with this one as a beginning :)
Thank you for your visit.
Thanks. Just a little hint of doom...
ReplyDeleteI sure hope I don't live to see the last tree! Good story Linda. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this Linda. There is a weight of untold back story behind it that gives it depth. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteAgreed with others. Very nicely done.
ReplyDeleteWe might be kindred souls! I like how the main voice thinks they're getting something and it turns out there was nothing for them to have. How many times have we striven and found nothing at the end?
ReplyDeleteYup. I thought as much. Boy, and I'm there now. Not quite I expected from the world at this point in time....
ReplyDeleteIntriguing idea, a world without trees and memories of the last one as warped and ugly. What goes here? I want to know more!
ReplyDeleteThanks...Just an idea that got pared down to a glimpse of an ugly tree.
DeleteA sense of dread here, like in a dystopian futuristic story. Well written to capture that sense, with the disappointment turning out to be a memory and not even a real tree.
ReplyDeleteThanks...Yes, kind have these survivors in mind who only get this far...
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