Wednesday, 6 November 2013

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - THE NEW EMPIRE STATE - MY 100 WORDS BY LINDA PALUND



The New Empire State
            After the flood, they built a replica of New York on the plains of Kansas. Everything’s built of stone, except his empire.  It’s built on sand.
            He had his face cast as Mercury, lording it over everyone entering his new offices.  His head above the door; his head on a plate, rather!  What a bloated ego!
            Before the oil ran out, he’d bought up all the bicycles.  There was no competition when his “Mercury Messenger Service” won the contract.
            Too bad that rubber no longer grows on trees.  My team has wings on their feet. We’re winning the next contract.

This Dabble in FLASH FICTION is from FRIDAY FICTIONEERS courtesy of:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
and you can comment on mine below:

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45 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 November 2013 at 17:59

    I loved the way you imagined this story. Fantastic!

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  2. Anonymous6 November 2013 at 21:40

    "Too bad that rubber no longer grows on trees..." Love the way you ended this futuristic gem. Well done!

    * I read your posts each week, but have not been able to sign in. I'm going to try Anonymous. Dawn@ Tales From the Motherland

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    1. Linda Palund6 November 2013 at 23:14

      Sorry, Dawn, I never got the wordpress system together after I started this out in Blogspot - then I moved to Athens, Greece - just to make thinks weirder. Thanks for letting me know who you are. I read your stories, too!

      Delete
  3. Anonymous6 November 2013 at 21:41

    You did an amazing job of describing the world/situation in this story - amazing because you had 100 words to do that, and tell your story. No mean feat. Bravo!

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    1. Linda Palund6 November 2013 at 23:15

      Thank you so much for the high praise. It's a challenge we all face each week. Now if we can just keep this world together...

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6 November 2013 at 22:38

    great world-building! :-)

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  5. Linda Palund6 November 2013 at 23:16

    Hey! Thanks for enjoying my world!

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  6. vb holmes6 November 2013 at 23:21

    Watch out, FedEx--UPS has been replaced as your chief competitiion. Fun story.

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 13:54

      Yes! We have to watch out for them now, but they were too dependent on trucks and didn't make it through the big flood and all those hurricanes!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous6 November 2013 at 23:23

    I like this one.

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  8. Anonymous7 November 2013 at 04:53

    Evolutionary wings on their feet? I love it!

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 14:03

      I liked the thought of it, and the metaphor, but the reality leaves something to be desired - They'd have to be awfully big wings!

      Delete
  9. Sandra Crook7 November 2013 at 07:50

    There's a lot in this for a 100 words. Very well done Linda.

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 14:05

      Thank you, Sandra. High praise from you and I will enjoy it!

      Delete
  10. Anonymous7 November 2013 at 07:59

    Cool tale, very imaginative and wide-sweeping.

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 14:04

      Thank you Elephant, and with your ears, you wouldn't need wings on your feet!

      Delete
  11. Anonymous7 November 2013 at 08:12

    I loved that first line - perfect scene setting

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 14:05

      Boy, and I moved that line around quite a bit while I was whittling the story down... Thanks.

      Delete
  12. Atreyee7 November 2013 at 10:20

    Great imagination and I loved how the so called "Mercurial" Big shot failed to see the flaw in his business plan-pride goes before a fall,for sure:-)And wings on feet-wow!Wish we could get some too;-)

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    1. Linda Palund7 November 2013 at 14:07

      Yes, I was going to try to fit that in, but no more words left. The wings on their feet was a metaphor that in this future would probably have been webbed feet instead!

      Delete
  13. Unknown7 November 2013 at 18:18

    You always have to one up the competition
    Like the way Mercury was used in this winged victory

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    1. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:33

      Thanks, although I have my doubts about those wings on his feet...

      Delete
  14. Perry Block7 November 2013 at 18:29

    Hi, Linda! Yes, there's a lot of story here for only 100 words and also for one who is 101 years old. I like the post apocalyptic feel of this piece that reminds me of Road Warrior and/or Book of Eli, etc. Go get that new self-appointed American god (a good role for the late Dennis Hopper)! Great job!

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    1. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:35

      Yes and thank you, as you were so naught as to use 160! Okay, and we can still use Dennis Hopper - we only need his head! Ah la, Futurama...

      Delete
  15. Russell7 November 2013 at 19:34

    I'm thinking this is the new Trump Tower, right? Who else could be that egotistical? Loved the story, Linda.

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  16. Anonymous7 November 2013 at 23:22

    Hi Linda,
    I'm going to compete for that contract with my army of R7 robots, fueled by boredom, because, after all, it is Kansas. (I should know. I spent about a century there in 10 calendar years.) But NYC in Kansas? Those New Yorkers are going to be so conflicted. Ron

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    1. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:37

      Yeah, you can't even get fizzy water in Kansas! But those R7's will have a time trying to find a real human to relate to...

      Delete
  17. Anonymous8 November 2013 at 07:17

    Yes, those people driven by greed, with their eye to the main chance no matter what the cost - are they really successful in life, when all is said and done? A great piece of writing.

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    1. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:38

      Thank you, Freya, probably who they wound up in Kansas in the first place...Greed.

      Delete
  18. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields8 November 2013 at 09:41

    Dear Lindaura,

    Little Empire State Building on the Prairie? Loved the first line. You set the tone and made me chuckle. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:39

      Thanks, Rochelle. I didn't want to insult Kansas City, cause I know they have lots of hills there. Just wanted someplace safe from the flood...

      Delete
  19. Anonymous8 November 2013 at 09:43

    Dear Linda,

    I loved the image of a new New York rising from the prairie. Fantastic.

    Alas for the best laid plans of the citizens of the New Jerusalem. One man's downfall is another's triumph. Great work.

    Aloha

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  20. Linda Palund8 November 2013 at 11:42

    Thanks, Doug. While I have been marooned in Athens, I have started watching Latenight TV, which here is always late, because the lifestyle in late. they show the new Hawaii 5-O here, which I never watched back home in England. So I am getting very jealous of those tropical Islands...
    Just to add, that on my journey across the USA, I was completely surprised by Boise, Idaho, which is quite lovely and rises from the plains in a way I would never have expected.

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  21. Anonymous9 November 2013 at 00:09

    There is so much packed into this short bit, and I'm still trying to digest it all: the flood, the moving of New York, the loss of rubber trees. I know I'm missing more. I want to see this story written full length. It's amazing what you've done. By the way ... thanks for the link to Fiction Victim. It looks awesome.

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  22. Linda Palund9 November 2013 at 07:57

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed this and glad you could digest so much!

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  23. brudberg9 November 2013 at 11:34

    You packed a lot of story into this.. I have already started stocking up on bicycles...

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    1. Linda Palund9 November 2013 at 14:22

      Thanks for enjoying this. But wait a minute. Don't stock up on bicycles - you'll be needing webbed feet after the flood!

      Delete
  24. Anonymous10 November 2013 at 00:52

    Imaginative story. Your narrator is sure showing initiative, Linda.

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    1. Linda Palund10 November 2013 at 09:50

      Thanks, Karen. Life is always a struggle, but after Global Warming really sets in, everyone will be struggling!

      Delete
  25. draliman10 November 2013 at 03:55

    Quite the entrepreneur but it sounds like he forgot one little detail - new tyres!
    I like the idea of rebuilding New York a bit further away from the sea, in case of more floods.

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    1. Linda Palund10 November 2013 at 09:51

      Thanks, Alistair, I think it will look quite dramatic there. Kansas City is hardly a metropolis, so New New York will be quite the centre of attraction.

      Delete
  26. Anonymous12 November 2013 at 19:20

    Kansas? That was some flood! LOL

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