THE ICE STORM – 100 words
After the storm, the world fell silent. The endless night was strangely peaceful. The road ahead shimmered in reflected moonlight, beautiful, but empty. No one would be coming to find me.
I was so very tired. I rested against a frozen tree, each breath an icicle piercing my heart. If I could only sleep…but sleep meant death. I wanted to cry, but my tears would freeze on my face, my eyelashes frozen together. If I could only shut my eyes for a moment, I thought, and I closed my eyes and saw the last sunrise.
|
NO!! Don't close your eyes! :( I could feel her pain. Good story!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jan. I really like this one.
ReplyDeleteI liked this. The poor woman, I certainly felt her helplessness and I want to tell her, "Just hang in there, help is on the way! Now, open your eyes!"
ReplyDeleteHere is my story: http://sweettea.kdmccrite.com/flash-fiction-3/bad-timing-flash-fiction-110411/
Dear Linda,
ReplyDeleteThis one, too, struck close to home. In my youth, exhausted after a long day of sledding, I almost froze to death after falling asleep on my sled. Someone found me and pulled me back to the pond and the big fire there. To this day I remember the peaceful feeling that settled over me as I lay down to rest....
Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
Hey, Doug, It did strike me that so many of us had experienced that deep cold that you only get in certain parts of the world. I totally experienced your sledding situation and freezing after skating on the pond, the big bonfires, all of that.
ReplyDeleteThen, being so far from home and on the way back, straggling, not being able to keep up and wanting to cry. Then actually sitting down and feeling that wonderful welcoming sleep coming on.
YOU narrowly escaped its grasp!
Talk to you next week!
Linda
You write as if you had experienced this personally - had you? Don't go to sleep, wait to see the sunrise!!
ReplyDeleteYes, Mahjira. But it looks as though many of us grew up where there were truly freezing winters - or live in those places now. So, yes, the voice of experience is speaking. I hope you liked it.
ReplyDeleteI have to add though, from my experience, this is one of the loveliest ways to die.
Yours, morbidly,
Linda
I could feel the encroaching cold and drowsiness. Nicely done, Linda.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that. Stay warm!
ReplyDeleteLinda
I got lost in deep snow when I was young, wound up walking a circle and followed my tracks home. It was scary. I remember being so tired I just wanted to lay down in the snow and quit. Good thing I didn't--I would have missed this great story :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Russell. It is amazing, after reading all these comments, that more of us didn't fall asleep and freeze to death when we were kids. I guess we were a lot smarter than I thought!
ReplyDeleteWell done you could feel the cold.
ReplyDeleteIt would be hard for me to want sleep when I'm cold but from what I understand that feeling creeps in once you don't feel so cold anymore. *shiver* I hope to never be that cold!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. So you did not spend your childhood in the deep midwinter as it seems so many of us did?
ReplyDeleteThat is the trick. First you are so cold and shivery and your teeth are chattering and I could go on and on about this, but after awhile you feel kind of numb in a pleasant way, and sleepy and then you are really in danger!
What a horrible situation to be in! I felt the protagonist's plight.
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
Sometimes an and has more power than a simple connection. The "and" after "thought" was frightening. Robin
ReplyDeleteThank you for appreciating this. I really liked it myself. But stop! I want you to come and write as part of the Collaborative Fiction blog I have going at http://fictionvictim.blogspot.com.
ReplyDeletePlease check it out and see if you can. I need another good writer!
Would you email me with your real email address?
Yours creatively,
Linda Palund
Lindaura Glamoura