THE GROTTO
Don’t go in there, I warned them. Stay away from that fecund place, that verdant grotto. But they had already seen its fragrant pools, the moss dripping overhead. They longed for the sticky sweetness of it, like honey, that moisture overflowing with life.
They open their mouths, feeling the first drops on their tongues, cool and sweet, then hot and fiery. Soon they can’t get enough. They lap at the soaking moss until the fronds stick to their teeth, until their tongues rub against the very root of it. Their mouths full, they cannot stop, blissfully trapped within succulent walls.
Loved "verdant grotto." Became more and more curious as to what species "they" are...
ReplyDeleteI couldn't stop myself from writing this. It is just stream of consiousness from looking at the picture. A Rhorshark test to me...
ReplyDeleteAnd it is so wonderful. I want to soak up that cool water, too. I just glanced at your 100 words Linda, when I first saw it posted. I did not want to be influenced by any other vision then. Totally side smacked me in the last few weeks. I do as you do! I finally took ONE look at the photo prompt. My vision came first in a dream and after that. I waited for my 100 words to come to me. I only had 165 in the beginning...damn, every word cut hurts. Ah but the impact of concise writing is so much more. Less IS more in this case. I love your writing Linda! You have always inspired me...
Delete23 April 2012 22:19
I love the rich descriptions. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteUh Oh, something bad happened while they were drinking in the grotto! I want to know more. Great job:)
ReplyDeleteThat's Rorschach, by the way; you must be becoming English, putting 'R's in words that don't have them (and taking them out of words that do). Your story was very... pungent, like forensic biology porn. Really a good effort, very poetic and kind of disgusting at the same time. That's kind of why I couldn't write a story this week. I had similar thoughts but could not bring myself to face them.
ReplyDeleteI thought as much. Imagaination failed us! The photo was too overpoweringly viseral and we succumbed. We should have seen it differently. Other folks saw dripping caves to take shelter in, dangerous holes to fall into, etc, but our minds stayed in the gutter...
ReplyDeleteWell it was a highly entertaining gutter! Nice one, visceral or not. You never fail.
ReplyDeleteMy very chaste offering can be found at:
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/spellbound-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/
I was reminded of Doug's description of Summer's "bermuda triangle" from last week and I hope you're going the same way here, otherwise it's just my mind. Rorschach or whoever he is would have something to say about both of us! (I'm just off to kill Carlos for his disrespect to the mother country!)
ReplyDeleteI’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/
Ha about Carlos and my extra r's and the English language in England. And, no you are not wrong, that Bermuda triangle has these poor souls in its grasp, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment - off to look at your offering...
Laura
I really like your story. Feels like a cave equivalent of a venus flytrap with some wierd biological, narcotic pull for its victims. Very inventive. :-) Thanks for reading mine over at:
ReplyDeletehttp://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/lowtown-hanami-haikyo/
Oops, also your link on my page was a link to your log in for blogger (username/email instead of url) might be worth checking you haven't done the same elsewhere).
DeleteOH my god! I put in the stupid @ sign in my address by mistake - and I did it everywhere!
DeleteYikes - so it was my fault!
That's what I get for doing this early in my English morning!
Laura Lindaura
Oooooh, I like the Venus Fly trap association!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Nice. Makes me want to get out of that intoxicating, if not seductive cave now!
DeleteThis is Sussan, I do not seem to be handling my posts very well.
Whoa, very descriptive. Like a gruesome detective novel I can't put down. (reading one now).
ReplyDeleteActually, I was thinking pitcher plant, rather than Venus flytrap, because of the dripping, but I love how you handled it. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z
A very addictive nectar. I thought you did a great job with (what was for me) a very difficult prompt.
ReplyDeletehttp://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Very rich description. It too was thinking of a Venus flytrap.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-story-2-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction
Ahhh...the forbidden fruit...or waters as the case may be. The temptation is often too much for some...and they pay with their lives.
ReplyDelete~Susan
So many hidden truths, is the story about water or?
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneer-5/
This was hypnotic and I loved it, Linda. Very different from anything else of yours I can remember reading.
ReplyDeleteI echo Madison's comment; hypnotic is right. Pulling you in and you just can't stop! Nice work with that.
ReplyDeleteso good it's a trap :)
ReplyDeletethanks for visiting my blog today
This one really creeped me out. The grotto seemed like a siren's song, calling unwary people into its welcome arms, only to trap them there forever...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Here's my more humorous take:
http://the-drabbler.com/splat/
Wow, what a description! I really feel for them and their addiction (and disgusted though). The type of imagery you can't turn away from!
ReplyDeletehttp://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneers-bats/
yeah, it always starts out like fun, and then things go wrong... nice job!
ReplyDeleteEnticing and deceitful!
ReplyDeleteGood work! Lyrical! Thanks for sharing!
Parul
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/layla/
Dear Linda,
ReplyDeleteThis was a beguiling piece of work. just as 'they' are sucked into the grotto, so to are we by your dulcet tone and soothing, yet ultimately deadly words. loved it.
Aloha,
Doug
Insidious! Great story (but I wonder what happens to the one telling it????) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI like the interplay of contrasts and the sexual insinuations. 'blissfully trapped within succulent walls' is poetic.
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone who enjoyed (enjoyed?). I couldn't help writing it, because that was what it made me think of and I only tried to write it as beautifully as I could.
ReplyDeleteLaura Linda Lindaura