Thursday 12 April 2012

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - 13 of April - THE SCENIC BIKEWAY - My 100 words - from Linda Palund


THE SCENIC BIKEWAY

Tunnels are dangerous. You never know what might be lurking inside, like muggers, rapists, or murderers; ghosts, monsters, or aliens; even little girls in red raincoats.
This little girl was wearing a pink jacket with tiny yellow bunnies all over it.  At 4 years old, she was fearless and full of life.
The tunnel was always safe, kept sparklingly clean and patrolled by the proud “Scenic Bikeway” police.  Mindie let go of her mommy’s hand and went skipping ahead into the tunnel.
Sadly, a four year old girl is no match for a twelve year old boy on a bicycle.


12 comments:

  1. Really good! The switch from ominous to safe and back to ominous was perfectly executed. Loved the reference to the 'red raincoat' which is seared on my memory as one of the most frightening images of recent times. Good work!

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/

    ReplyDelete
  2. I must say...you expose both stories to kind criticism this week. I enjoyed the main story, good to have it posted after all. But i cannot but ask...what happened next between the 12-year old and the Mindie?

    I am here for grab:
    http://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/l-for-lifes-choices-friday-flash-fictioneers/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice switch, Ms Glamoura, from the expected child abductor to a simple, but equally deadly bike accident. Were you inspired by the killing of an old man in San Francisco this week by a young man speeding through a red light on his bike?

    ReplyDelete
  4. See even the commonplace and simple can be dark. Very well wrought.

    http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/04/fridayfictioneers-nightmare-tunnel.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. Danger is around us and you told your tale well. I felt confident she was going in to something safe and surprised by the unexpected encounter. Sad and real at the same time.

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-friday-fiction-2/

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want to know what happens next! You sure piqued my interest! Here's mine (a little different this week): http://furiousfictions.com.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This one moves every which way and back again! The simple-yet-terrible ending for the poor girl leaves us wondering what became of her and hoping she's alright.

    Mine's this-a-way:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Awww, I hope nothing too bad happened to her. Where are the bike police when you really do need them? Hmph. Probably putting a ticket on my windshield instead.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Linda,

    I enjoyed both stories, but, for your records, the second more than the first. It didn't matter to me that the second was like some of the others in this Friday's queue. The accidental death of the first, though sad and unfortunate, was no match for the unspoken horror of the second. (I kind of like that you wrote two, though. More bang for the buck.

    Thanks for your comments on mine.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ooohhh, that was so sad. It left me just feeling really empty in a powerful way.

    Beautiful job with the prompt. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Despite the best efforts of the bike patrol, a child still died. How sad. Thank you for sharing (and for commenting on mine).

    ~Susan

    ReplyDelete
  12. A tale which takes the reader on a rollercoaster ride. Even not knowing what to expect, I wasn't quite prepared for the sad ending. You wrote that you were not proud of your stories this week. I think you should always be proud of your work. Writing is no easy thing. Putting it out there for people to read is even harder. :-)

    http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/meet-me-there/

    ReplyDelete