Thursday, 31 May 2012

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - 1 June 2012 - EYES OF IO - Linda Palund's 100 Words



EYES OF IO

         We have left the Border Planets.
         We are building a silicate mining station among the volcanoes of Io, one of Jupiter’s moons.  It will take at least a year to prepare the planet for our human partners.
         We would be lonely if not for the beauty we behold here. The R7 Series Robot can recognise beauty.  We record it in the crystalline layers of sulphur dioxide; the volcanic plumes and lava flows, which paint the planet’s surface so vividly.  The powerful lenses in our eyes transmit the images back to Earth.
         Beauty is indeed in the Io of the beholder.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: For those who missed out on and may want to know more about this character, I wrote a short series of excerpts from this Robot's diaries for Friday Fictioneers in December and January. I plan to compile all of the diaries into a book by the end of the year.  Meanwhile, You can see these here:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.co.uk/2011_12_01_archive.html http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/friday-fictioneers-20-of-jan-2012-from.html

27 comments:

  1. These robots clearly came from working on MacDonald's farm. Puns aside, quite a lovely story, Ms Glamoura. I like the robot series.

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  2. You are a devil with the puns, but I Owe you this one! Thanks for the advice - you secretly gave me before I published this!
    IOU

    R7.X

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  3. Intriguing. I can't help seeing Data cocking his head while he pets Spot, his unspotted cat.
    Here's mine: www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/kiss-me-sailor.html

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  4. Last December, I became obsessed with a robot I created for one of these stories. I ended up writing a series of little excerpts from his diary in Madison's Friday Fictioneers. He has taken on a life of his own and I plan to publish his diaries next year.

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  5. I Like this very much! Must go back and read the others. Yes,
    Sussan De Allura

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  6. I really like how direct the voice is here, only robot could pull it off.

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  7. Cleverly done! I was seeing R2D2, personally ;-)

    Ours is a little long at 160 words
    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/time-is-running-out

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    1. I kept thinking of the name R2D2, but actually, the Robot you are thinking about is C3PO. He is the humanoid type and the prototype for my robot. I have a backstory that is hilarious, but it has to wait for the book!

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  8. Wonderful! At first I thought the narrator was human, and only gradually realized this was told from a robot's perspective. And the last sentence is an excellent groaner of a pun.

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  9. Imaginative take on the prompt. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/fridayfictioneers-my-pilot/

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  10. Looking forward to the Robot Diaries. I love their sense of humor. Thanks for reading & commenting on mine.

    Here's the link for those who may have missed it.
    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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  11. Fabulous. I totally read down the page of this site - my favorite was the grotto one. Great stuff. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-5/

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    1. Thank you for exploring my page. I love doing these little stories and think it is a fabulous exercise for all of us.
      Lindaura

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  12. I love it! I love how there take on beauty is so different from ours, really giving us some insight into what they are doing. Well written. Here's mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/

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  13. Heehee, sometimes the old ones are the best. I love that your robot has the capacity to see beauty, feel loneliness and even make jokes. It makes for a very interesting character, not an easy thing to do with a robot. Well done.

    I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fiction-guilt-trip/

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  14. "The powerful lenses in our eyes . . . " That was a surprise and I loved it! Clever ending, too!

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/flashfriday-fictioneers-the-original-pout/

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  15. Dear Linda,

    I find it interesting that on the Island of Hawaii lives a rare species of bird called the I'o, the Hawaiian hawk. Its range is on the slopes of Mauna Kea, whose summit, or nearly so, is the picture I gave to Madison for this weeks prompt.

    I found your story engaging and imaginative, as usual, and cannot help but wonder how close you are going to be to the mark that the future will set for you. I think very close.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  16. Splendid sci-fi take on the prompt. I'd not even considered such and you make me jealous I didn't. Truly poetic and flowing descriptions especially coming from robotic life forms. The punny twist of the last line ended this beautifully.

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  17. " Beauty is indeed in the Io of the beholder."

    That's an original, right?

    Very imaginative sci-fi story.

    Here's mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/

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  18. It's an excellent idea to compile those flashes into a book! I love the detached, observant tone of this narrator. It's the sort of mc that I can admire and fear at the same time.

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  19. Linda ... once again I am finding it really hard to leave a comment on your page. Every time I open the comment page, a link and a little box appear at the bottom of the page "Add Comment" ... but then the screen flashes and it disappears. The only thing I can do is "Reply" to a previous message. Today, though, after I selected "Reply" the "Add A Comment" link reappeared and when I clicked on it, I ended up in this box. I won't know if I am adding a comment or replying to logo-ligi's message until I select "Publish". Ack!

    Anyway ... I came here yesterday and didn't discover this new option (if it is new), so left without commenting. I'll do so now. I REALLY liked it. The voice is authentic, the point of view refreshing (and consistent) ... cold and analytic, detached and finding value in things people wouldn't necessarily like. I liked it so much I went back and read many of your other efforts in the series. I like them, and wish you luck in pulling it altogether (and hope I'll get to see them when done). I have a question about the sequence, tho ... obviously you are going to order them differently than they were composed. Take this effort, for example: "We have left the border planets" implies Mars and Venus, to my way of thinking, so indicates an outward voyage from Earth (and "our partners" ... a nice touch of android equality) to get to Jupiter. Other diary entries took place in the outer planets (I think).

    Oh well.

    Thanks for your "critical" comments on my efforts. I think I like "The Lab" better, too, tho as a historian can probably do more with "Omens". Here's a couple of things to add to what you know, already. I am taking this 100-word limit pretty literally, if I can. For me, who tends to be verbose and rambling in my narrative, it is an EXCELLENT challenge (tho now that I've demonstrated to myself I can do it on a consistent basis, maybe I'll relax a little). So, quite literally, I ran out of words. I tried to include a couple of clues in those 100 words, but perhaps they were too subtle. This group of pony riders is descending into the land of the whiteskins. The narrator is named Altan (a Mongol surname ... perhaps if I had made it Altandai?). All the bones were gathered outside the largest stone building in the village ...

    What if I had added a few extra words to describe that stone building (making it longer than 100-wordsss, of course) to the effect of it bearing a large cross, a symbol which the whiteskins seemed to find quite popular. Would that have provided more plot-line clues?

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    1. Thank you Scott, for reading my Robot Diaries - and for giving your encouragement. Since I am far into the future, these "Border Planets" now include numbered planets from the edge of our galaxy - these are the "Border Planets".

      Meanwhile, I too think the 100 word limit is an excellent tool to learn the value of language. And I stick to it and encourage all others to keep the faith.
      Even though I know you are a good writer also, my years of reviewing, novel writing and song writing, have given me an edge and I think I am a pretty good editor now. What I was suggesting, was not for you to simply add more words to your story, but for you to free up space by taking away what is unnecessary.
      For instance:
      "they rode through fields grown wild from neglect." You only need to say they rode through fields grown wild." (we can tell they have been neglected by the description.)
      "No tracks or prints marked the unkempt road." "No tracks" would be enough, we don't need the "or prints" - and we don't need the "unkempt road", you can use the word empty here, but really you need no description. We already get the idea it is empty.
      And you should use the word "deserted" instead of empty in the next line: "They crossed an empty bridge"
      So "They crossed a deserted bridge, coming upon clusters of wooden huts." Or even, "They crossed a rotting bridge, coming upon clusters of deserted wood huts."
      Using your own story, you can pare it down to include the "large cross shaped" totem, which does put the icing on the cake!
      And you will have a better story.

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  20. I like it. I like that you gave the robots the ability to recognize beauty. I think the human receiving the images would not value them as much as the R7 would. Just my speculation. I do like the pun at the end. I wonder if the R7 is also capable of dry humor. Thank you for commenting on my blog. I'm just leaving my link so others could hop over. http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-flash-fiction-start-day.html

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    1. Thank you, Atiya. Thank you for liking my creation. It is true that these robots value everything human's value, but because they were created to value humanity above all else, they do cherish all human values in a way humans could not understand.
      However, I am not sure they understand dry humour. I think they are a bit autistic that way, but that may be something their programming could adapt to...
      hmmmm

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  21. Who created these robots with such human traits, equipped with eyes, having human partners, able to perceive beauty and journal with eloquence if not a God? Perhaps it was a watchmaker.

    Here's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/flash-fiction-friday-an-addiction/

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    1. Actually, "The Watchmaker" IS one of the oldest Scifi metaphors for a God - who/whatever it was that created our planet.
      For me, the robots are definitely a creation of humanity, but the secret of exactly "who" created them will be included in my book when I get it out!
      Thanks for your comments,
      Lindaura

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