Friday 22 March 2013

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - A DAY IN THE LIFE - MY 100 WORDS BY LINDA PALUND



New Version 1.

Day and Night

            People don’t understand what happens in these fields at night, behind these fences.  
            Fences cannot stop the big cats.  They slither under like snakes.
            In terror, we run like the wind, pursued by the speed of death.  
            Leaping from the darkness onto our backs, their teeth sink into our necks; their claws pierce our shoulders. 
            We carry them until our great hearts give out and we fall, pumping the last of our blood into the grass.
            We lost Gypsy last night.  The people found her by the fence. 
            They left the hose running, but it won't wash away her memory.

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These are my first ideas, but I was not up to myself on Friday and should have waited, but they are part of a horse diary also:


A Day in the Life

            I slept under the oak tree, shivering thorough the chill desert night.
            I woke with the dawn and nibbled at the few green shoots sprouting around the watering trough, waiting for the kid to bring breakfast. When I heard the rumble of his truck, I headed for the gate.
            He liked to rub my ears before dropping the chunks of alfalfa that would hold me until dinner.
            He filled the trough, but forgot to turn off the hose.
            After he left, I dragged the hose around, feeding the dry grass.             
            Humans are so stupid. Haven’t they heard about drip irrigation?

After reading about Doug and Mystic, I added these notes from the horse's diary:

Version 2:


            I wake with the dawn and rise up on all fours. Horses prefer to sleep lying down, but we can only do that when we feel safe. 
            This field is small and dry, but it’s safe. 

            I don’t get many visitors. Just a kid, who brings me alfalfa, and the nice man called Doug.
            I summon Doug with my hoof against the wire of my fence. He brings me apples and he’s good company in the evening. 
            He knows how dry the grass is so he leaves the hose running.  Now I’ll have fresh green shoots to nibble before breakfast.



22 comments:

  1. No one listens to a horse. Now he has to give it a chance to grow in the hope his message will get across. Nicely done.

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  2. Dear Lindaura,
    That's horse sense at its finest. Nice one.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

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  3. It's a pity your horse can't speak. Maybe when his grass starts to grow, the humans might get the idea. Enjoyed this - it left me smiling.

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  4. Your smiling, made me smile. Thank you.

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  5. Drip irrigation! Who knew? :-)

    janet

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  6. Hi Linda,
    I liked both stories but the second one was my favorite. I liked the way you incorporated the info Doug provided into your story and I could envision Doug out at the fence feeding an apple. Nice writing. Ron

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    1. Thanks, Ron,
      I guess everyone is fond of Doug, but I couldn't help sticking him in there after I read his own comments.

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  7. Really nice horse's eye view! I agree with bridgesareforburning - the first story is good, but the second story is better, mostly because the horse's interaction with Doug adds a nice touch.

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    1. There you go, Doug just has something horses and other writers seem to like.

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  8. Dear Linda,

    Two stories that both fill me with happiness. Thanks for writing the second one. Mystic was smart enough to water the grass and was certainly hungry all the time. Smart horse. Smart writer.

    I hope your world get some figurative 'water' soon. hang in there and keep writing.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Hi doug, thank you for your comments. I think horses are so much smater than humans give them credit for - but they are still horses and certainly know what is best for themselves. If we were't busy breaking them, they would be just happy being themselves, kind of like cats...

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  9. Both were good, but the 2nd was my favorite. Your horse was much more well mannered than the ones in my stories :) - Russell

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  10. Thanks, Russel - In your fabulous world, everything is diabolical! But funny diabolical...

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  11. So many great stories about intelligent horses I'm starting to feel real stupid myself

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  12. I think I like the first one better, probably because I can relate. I'm always going off and leaving the tea boiling on the stove.

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  13. I thought I posted, but guess it didn't take. I liked the first one better, probably because I'm notorious for leaving tea boiling on the stove until there's nothing left.

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  14. Actually, like the first one better also. I was trying to write a realistic horse diary, but now I am unhappy with both of them. They are not really good stories. I was in a truly unhappy place when I wrote them last Friday and and they made me feel better at the time, but now think I am going to rewrite them. I need to make them into real stories - or at least one into a real story, so they will both disappear. I do that sometimes. Sometimes we publish things before we are ready - and then we have to edit them or tear them up and start again.

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  15. Don't you wonder what animals think about our ways? Their thinking may be limited, but I have to wonder exactly what they are able to comprehend and what entertainment we provide.

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  16. I think that animals think in a way we cannot possibly comprehend - and that their thinking is unlimited. We think it is limited, because we cannot comprehend how they think. But their thinking must be directly connected to everything else about them - how they move and what they need to survive. I always think about Stonehenge - and how we cannot possible imagine the folks who created it - and I think to myself, well, here are the remains of what? a sky scraper? a University? How could we possibly guess?

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