Friday 4 May 2012

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - 4 of May 2012 - THE SECRET ROOM - My 100 Words - Linda Palund



I have a disclaimer.  This is my second version. I received many lovely comments on the first version and I thank you all for them.  But it was clear that no one actually knew what I was writing about, so I have rewritten the story so it is more obvious and not cryptic at all.

Thank you for your indulgence:

THE SECRET ROOM

         When they broke through the sheetrock, they found the secret room, walls still covered in ancient flowery wallpaper, faded, but intact.
          All those stories we’d heard, but never really believed; stories about this room, this tomb, hidden within the walls of the old mansion.
         They said he couldn’t stop grieving; he laid her to rest in the study next to his bedroom.  He wouldn’t let them bury her. The maids hung garlands of lavender from the picture rail.  The seeds covered the floor and the basket of bones next to the hearth, where she once lay at her master’s feet.



29 comments:

  1. Here's mine. www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com

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  2. At first, I thought you were going toward "Underground RR" and runaway slaves--how delightful to have it develope into a love story. Somewhat reminiscient of Rhett Butler after his daughter's accident in "Gone With the Wind." Loved it.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

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    1. You know, at first I was going to go with something like the Underground Railroad, but we had enough of my people on the run in the last few weeks. However, if you get t chance, please read my new version, so my cryptic ending is not so cryptic.
      Thank You,

      Laura

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  3. Dear Linda,

    I enjoyed your story this week and was pleased to finally be able to read your missive from last week. (I'm soooo slow sometimes.) Both well done, but my mind keeps seeing the flash of silver at the end of the last weeks. You are good.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/the-nerve/

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    1. Thanks, Doug, I try to be good, and I really did like that flash of silver as she galloped into the dawn, and I am glad you liked it too.

      Please read my new version of the above story - as it makes more sense now.
      Yours as ever,
      Linda

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  4. Great post; historical romance in the making. Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/fridayfictioneers-lost-without-you/

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  5. That was a sad and haunting one. Loved the garlands of lavender bit. Nice work.

    Mine's at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/dysfunctional-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

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  6. Good thing you put those garlands of lavender up; the smell would be horrible, even through my computer. Nice and gothic, like Sheridan Le Fanu, though I don't think Uncle Silas would be that loving.

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  7. Well written piece. I like the level of detail. I also much enjoyed your story line, the inability to let go.

    Here's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

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  8. Love the garlands of lavendar, and interesting bit of information, yet adds so much to the story.

    Here's mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/03/friday-fictioneers-the-gig/

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  9. A sweet-yet-haunting love story, with a hint of the disturbing about it. Nicely written.

    Mine's here, coming in at 191 words this week:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/175/

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  10. I think even with the garlands of lavender the smell would be horrendous, unless the house was very dry and the carcass desiccated instead of rotted, or unless he brought her in after the process had completed somewhere else. Well, it's hard to get answers to everything in 100 words. This was a macabre and different kind of story from you Linda. I found it interesting and it raised lots of questions.

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  11. A nicely-crafted 'Rose for Emily' type tone here. Captures the right type of sadness and denial, all from the point of view of someone external to the loss. Well done!

    -Brian (Mine is here: http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/04/renovations/)

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  12. HA! I missed V.1 but with this version I was thinking the same as pinionpost, after my initial 'it's a holocaust hiding place' and then, boom, none of the above.

    Kathy

    Oh, and here's mine:

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  13. I liked this. It's a sad, but very pretty story. Well done!

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  14. Confused. I thought I understood the piece until the last line ... "where she lay at her master's feet"...is this about his deceased pet/dog? Reading the other comments didn't help. Anyhow, here's mine:
    www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes! The secret room held the dead body of a beloved pet. I tried to make you think it would be a dead wife, so that is had a little joke at the end, bittersweet as may be...Didn't work the way I wanted it to though...

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  15. Reading the original comments is really funny in the context of the rewritten story I can see why you reposted. Still, it is a sweet melancholy story that moves me. My throat still catches when we pass that rock in our back yard.

    Excellent work Linda!

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    1. Ahhh, yours is the most refreshing comment yet. But too true. The passing of pets is a horrible thing. Makes us feel vampiric. We live on with pet after pet, and we love them so much!

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  16. Got to agree that would require quite a bit more than some lavender and a bit of febreeze. LOL. Nicely-written story of the inability to let go.

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  17. Thanks, Jeff. Yes I know, I was having rosemary in there to, but ran out of words - and I just trusted that he was an old man with a lousy sense of smell...The maids would have to put up with it, and after a year, it would be pretty much dulled...I just wanted to trick everyone into assuming it was a dead wife or child... I am kind of mean that way...

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  18. I think I see a grand Irish setter lying there in the basket. Long time friend, companion and confidante.
    Yes, a loved one not to be tossed in a hole and forgotten...
    Mine is here http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/old-wallpaper-friday-fictioneers/

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  19. V.2 is an improvement, Ms Glamoura, and it is a clever and nice little story. Personally, I see the remains of a loving Pit Bull Terrier in the basket...

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  20. Yes, that's it. Thank you for reading the new version. And thank you for the nice comments.
    Lindaura

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  21. I missed V1, but really enjoyed this one. Nicely done.
    Thanks for the nice comment on mine.

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  22. I didn't see the first one, but I LOVE this story. It tells of love and honour, and the fact that it's a dog not a wife is the perfect touch.
    You depict this whole story with graceful language and a light touch. Nice one!

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  23. Thank you, elmo, I value your comments, and I am pleased that you liked this little tale.
    Yours,
    Laura

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  24. Sorry I'm so late getting to you. This was a sweet one. I'm glad I popped in to read it. Thank you for sharing!

    ~Susan

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