Friday 8 June 2012

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - 8 June 2012 - LEARNING TO FLOAT - Linda Palund's 100 Words


LEARNING TO FLOAT

We float on a breeze as light as milkweed fluff, as light as dandelion spores, as light as the kiss you did not feel when I pressed my lips against your forehead last night.
 The blue of the sky is an illusion of colour reflected from an ocean we no longer see; we float so far above.
We have lost our moorings.  We are weightless, as weightless as embryos. Nothing holds us here.
 Floating like this, we wish never to touch down. Perhaps the helium will explode, scattering our atoms across the Universe.  Then we will surely be weightless forever.

50 comments:

  1. Wow. Looks like I get to be first. "...as light as the kiss you did not feel..." Intriguing.
    Love the imagery, Linda.
    www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/wings.html

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    Replies
    1. It was a pleasure meeting you like this, Rochelle.
      Sadly, I am probably leaving this group now.
      Time to live out in the real world.

      Delete
  2. This is beautiful, Lindaura, gorgeous. Possibly the best thing you've done. So many terrific descriptive phrases. I loved it.
    Mine:http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/friday-fictioneer-100-word-story-airship/

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    Replies
    1. Looks like we are going out with a bang!
      Time to live out in the real world.

      Delete
  3. Very nice and describes exactly what lighter-than-air flight is like. Good job, and thanks for the comments on mine.

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    Replies
    1. It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. Sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  4. Good imagery; good diction. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/fridayfictioneers-emily/

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    Replies
    1. It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. Sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  5. This whole thing was brilliant Linda! What do you mean you've lost your imagination? I wish I'd written that. 'milkweed fluff' 'light as the kiss you did not feel'. Loved it.

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    Replies
    1. I wholeheartedly agree with Sandra! I think this was the Story of the Week, if there was such a thing (and I don't think there should be).

      Delete
    2. It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. I love your writing, as you know, but sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  6. Your word choices and sentences elevate (ha!) the feeling of weightless you describe so well. I imagine just sort of fluttering along as I read the words her. Very nice.

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    Replies
    1. It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. I totally encourage your Pogo like stories of real childhood to continue, but sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  7. Ooops http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/just-chillin-friday-fictioneers-june-2012/

    (For others, I know you've been, and thank you)

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  8. Dearest Linda,

    What a beautiful take on the prompt. light as a feather and otherworldly as well. There is a timeless feel to your story that belies its simplicity.

    Thanks for commenting on mine. I leave the link here for fellow travelers.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/joining-a-murmuration-or-bud-cowarts-view/

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    Replies
    1. Dearest Doug, I do wish you a happy birthday and It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. I think your writing is terrific.
      Sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  9. Dear Lindaura,
    I enjoyed the contrast between the beautiful imagery and the no saying: a no-word in each section. Not, nothing, no, never, while the overall feeling is positive. You did capture a very floaty, disconnected feeling in this prose poem.
    cheers,
    Laura
    http://www.westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-fictioneers-above-clouds.html

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  10. I had to go back and check to see what I did, and you are right, I have not, never, nothing, no longer, in each section... I don't know why I wrote this from the prompt, but I thank you for reading and appreciating it...
    Lindaura

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  11. Very beautiful and wonderful...I was floating right along with you and I love the idea of becoming split, to speak, to atoms scattered and floating forever.

    Beautiful prose, Kudos!

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  12. THe pictures this makes in my mind! WOW! mine can be found here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/june-8-friday-fictioneers-just-take-me-home/

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  13. Beautiful :) very...

    http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/friday-fictioneer-spread-your-wings-and-fly/

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  14. My goodness, Linda, but this is exceptional. With the exception of the kiss to the forehead, this is about as strong a description of detached alienation as I have ever read ... buoyant weightlessness, detached from all moorings, seeking release down to the very last atom. As someone else pointed out, the negative expressed in each paragraph as a yin to the yang of the beautiful, gossamer images. Lovely.

    In mine, I tried to provide a hint of plot (as you suggested last week), but may have gone overboard in my enthusiasm. Check it out at http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/06/heist.html

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  15. Love the imagery, especially the unnoticed kiss to the forehead and the wish to never touch down. Nice work.

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  16. Beautifully descriptive!! Loved it!

    Thanks for your kind comments on mine! http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/06/07/friday-fictioneers-6812/

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  17. Poetic. A beautiful prose.

    Mine's here: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/08/radiant-flight/

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  18. Lovely, light and lyrical with a fatal twist at the end.

    http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/flash-friday-fiction-4/

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  19. Hi Linda,
    What a skillfully worded ode to what it must be like to glide through the air in a big blimp. And I like the title. The opening images really pulled me in. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

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    Replies
    1. It was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise. Sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  20. Perfectly enchanting!

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  21. Linda, This was EXQUISITE!! Poetic in its beauty. I loved it.

    Thanks for visiting my site.

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  22. Beautiful, poetic descriptions. "milkweed fluff, dandelion spores..." Wonderful. I wanted to be up there with you. Delightful take on the prompt. Here's mine:
    www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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  23. I love this so much as a whole but milkweed fluff?
    I really loved that. These are words that hang on to a person without letting go. Very nice, and thank you so much for your help with mine,I appreciate it!

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  24. Interesting mood shift (at least that's how I read it). At first the narrator seems weightlessly happy - then becomes lost and adrift, with a growing sense of dread.

    Thanks for commenting on my story - http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/friday-fictioneers-the-view-from-2112/

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  25. Well done :). Thanks o much for stopping by mine....www.boomiebol.wordpress.com.

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  26. I really liked some of the comments used to describe your work, and I don't think there's anything more I can add - It is a light and lovely story and I think I liked the 'milkweed fluff' reference most :)

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    Replies
    1. Well, I it was a pleasure meeting you here and joining in this little exercise that you provided. I am sorry that i feel so let down by it all. I guess I think a lot of my own writing and letting it dissolve away is not quite what I was hoping for. if my writing were crap, I wouldn't care, but I do like what I write and I don't want it to disappear, so sadly, I think that I shall leave this group now.
      Time to return to the real world.
      Yours, as ever,
      Lindaura

      Delete
  27. Wonderful imagery that drives the feeling of lightness home. Well done.

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  28. What a lovely prose poem. Loved the emotion.

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  29. One doesn't get to use the word 'sublime' often so I'm glad to have the chance here. 'The kiss you did not feel' was my favorite image.

    So glad to have read this,
    Kathy

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  30. Thank you so much for your sublime comment. I was feeling very melancholy when I wrote this piece, and poetry is the stuff of melancholia.
    Sadly, I am probably leaving this group now.
    Time to live out in the real world.

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