Friday 20 September 2013

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - LATE AGAIN - MY 100 WORDS BY LINDA PALUND




LATE AGAIN

            Hank watched the Gramps shout from the shop’s door.
            “Marge, tell Amanda to hurry up!”
            Hank couldn’t hear anything, but his sensors registered unusual activity in the Gramps’ brain, “Haste only makes waste, Harvey. There’s no rushing our Amanda.”
            The Gramps leaned on his stick, mumbling. “I always said she’d be late for her own wedding.”
            Then he started weeping. “If only I hadn’t made her rush home from school that day, Amanda would still be alive.”
            “ Cut!” Hank yelled from the control booth. “Kill the module. Send the Gramps Android back to Tech.  Too much human memory left!”

This Dabble in FLASH FICTION is from FRIDAY FICTIONEERS courtesy of:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/20-september-2013/
·       and you can comment on mine below:

12 comments:

  1. I'll have to admit, I'm a little confused. Is Amanda actually in there with Marge, or does he see the mannequin as Amanda, or is he just senile?

    BTW - one of my goals is to be late to my own funeral.

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  2. I'm with Russ. Is the dead woman someone else or is it Amanda?

    janet

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    Replies
    1. Gosh, I thought it would work, but I guess it didn't. I am off to rewrite it.

      Delete
  3. No, I've not got it yet. I'll pop back later.

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  4. Dear Lindaura,

    The world and our fates with it, hang on a thread and spin on a dime. Great story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    Replies
    1. Oh dear, I decided to rewrite it...Not important, just my first thoughts and I am always so late with these nowadays....

      Delete
  5. Hi Linda,
    There's a fine line about how subtle to be. I was worried about my story and asked my wife to read it and she didn't get it, but I took a chance and went with it anyway, thinking an audience of writers would relate better, but I was taking a chance doing that. I had trouble sorting your story, so I'm going to come back after the re-write and see what you've done with it. Ron

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  6. Boy, I tried to write a story more like other people's stories and I thought it worked. You actually saw the first re-write and couldn't make it out. Above is now the last re-write. I give up after this - but I'll be back next week with more of my usual doom and gloom, or perhaps I will bring Two Gun Girly back to wreck some carnage...

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  7. Hi Linda,
    I'm back, and I think I get it now. Gramps brain has been messed with, but they didn't get rid of all his memories. One of the new bells and whistles on the R8 model will be a complete brain sweep check. The other good thing is that soon you will be able to buy an R7 for $99. You shouldn't try to write stories like other people's stories. I always look forward to the delicious out-there place YOUR stories come from. Have a dark, gloomy week and I'll see you next time. ron

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    Replies
    1. Now, the story is that the R8 Series, although complete with brain sweep, will be superior only in that they will not be prone to mental breakdown, but they will be a lot more boring than the R7 models - and you have to remember that these are not androids, but AI contraptions, with what amounts to minds of their own, but not minds as we know them AND being indestructible, no brain sweeps can get through to R7 - BUT, they like therapy, interaction with a human psychologist is heaven for them, so when they go awry, they are quite amenable to a little shrinking...Still at $99, they are a bargain.

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  8. I had no idea where this was going until the very end. Nice job.

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  9. quite a twist. i felt really sad for the grandpa. even now, he still suffers from the guilt

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